Fast forward a few (ahem... quite a few) years, and I still can't get a plant to live more than a few days. Oh, I've tried! I've tried everything I could think of. I've had many plants, and each one has decided that death is better than dealing with me as their owner.
Determined to have a plant live under my care, I've purchased two plants in the last two weeks. The first plant was a basil plant. After three attempts at getting basil to grow from seeds and leaves from my Grammy's basil plants, I'd decided to go with an actual growing basil plant. After 24 hours, the poor thing was dead... no matter what I did to try to make it live!
In my defense, I did buy the basil plant from Walmart and it was half dead when I got it. I figured it would die if I didn't save it and nurse it back to health. We (my husband and I) bought it a new pot, some nice soil, and (because I insisted) some bottled water. Ok, the water was for me, but I swear I shared it with my basil. We took him home and I named him Cecil. I don't know why... just go with it. Cecil started to look good once I put him in his new pot and gave him some water. After an hour, Cecil began to get all shriveled up and wouldn't stand up. Cleverly, I used a plastic fork to prop him up in his pot. Since the package he came in said that basil plants need constant sunlight, I moved him around the front and back yards so that he would be in the sun all day long. I gave him extra water because the package said that the soil needed to stay moist. Cecil was looking so sad by the end of the night that I used cooled coffee water to perk him up. Well, apparently that isn't supposed to be done with herbal plants. Oops. Cecil died a quick and (I hope) painless death. I, on the other hand, lived with the awful feeling of being a plant murderer for the rest of the week. My husband shook his head and told me maybe next time we don't get the dying plant. I agreed.
This brings us to yesterday, and the plant that is (by some miracle) still alive. I'm not even sure what kind of plant it is. It has pretty flowers and it looked like it wanted to come home with me (read as: I really wanted another plant and this one was the closest to me while walking around the store aimlessly). So, I bought her. She doesn't have a name yet. I figure, after I name them it all goes down hill from there. For now, the plant is called "she who must not be named"*. Well, to get the plant home in one piece, I put it in my cup holder in my car and put the air conditioning on so she wouldn't be too hot**.
The first item I put in the house was the plant. I put her on the counter top to make sure I didn't step on her later. Yes, I've stepped on my plants before. No, I'm very much not proud of it. Anyway, I put her on the counter top and went back out to get the groceries. When I came back into the house, this is what I saw...
Is Cecil's plant spirit still in the house to warn the plants about their eventual doom? It's the only reason I can thing of that would make a plant jump to their own demise so quickly... or at all. Before putting the groceries away, I re-potted the plant and took her inside the house. She has had her water for the week and is on a wide dining room table... so she can't get any funny ideas about jumping again.
So far, despite my lack of a green thumb, the plant is still alive. I hope she stays alive. My husband is starting to call me "the Dexter of plants". If you haven't seen the show Dexter, you must. I will tell you that he's a murderer... so, being the Dexter of plants is not a great thing to be. However, he is a very nice person and the show is amazing. Therefore, I refuse to feel insulted because he must be referring to how nice I am and that if I had a show it would be amazing for plants to be in it. Just let me be delusional, ok? And go watch Dexter!
*Yes, this is an attempt at a Harry Potter quote-ism. We are huge Harry Potter fans in our family and so you must get used to this if you continue to read this blog. Also, my son has almost all of the books completely memorized, so don't show him this at all because he will correct me as to why it is not a perfect quote. Then I'll have to tell him it's a quote-ism and he'll tell me that's not really a word... when really he should be doing his homework and will get in trouble. Oh the tangled webs we weave...
**Ok, yes I know that it is a plant and that she probably doesn't think of being hot or cold... or much of anything. But what if plants do feel hot and just can't tell us? That is why I like to assume that it feels the way I do, temperature wise. Same for my kids, much to their dismay. If I'm cold they must need a sweater. It's a mom thing. Best not to question it.
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