Hell Hath Frozen Over... In My Refrigerator

Being a military family, we live on base.  In fact, we are a Coast Guard family on an Air Force Base.  When a military family signs onto a base, they can go on a list for a house.  The rent is taken out of our paycheck right away when we get paid and we're supposed to have some benefits to living here.  One of the benefits we have is a 24/7 hotline for Maintenance to come fix whatever is wrong in the house, especially if it's an emergency.  Well, we've lived here for almost three weeks and have had one emergency after another with our (former) refrigerator.

Note: This is normally where I would joke and say something like, "May it rest in peace and see all of its refrigerator relatives in refrigerator heaven."  However, I hate it with a passion I've never felt before.  So, I hope it rots for all eternity in a junk heap and is pulled apart by rats and moles.  I promise you, it totally deserves that fate.

The refrigerator was a lovely refrigerator, at first.  It had a nice freezer with an ice maker.  It had a water dispenser on the inside, which was completely new to me.  All of my groceries fit ever so nicely and neatly.  There was even extra room for when I would make pudding.  We were very happy with our refrigerator.  Then, it decided to go all wonky... and when the refrigerator went wonky... I did too.  Don't judge. You would have gone loony too!

Two days after we moved in, and after we filled the refrigerator with all of our groceries, the refrigerator was warming up.  Nothing would stay cold at all.  My husband did his own "experiment" to check if the refrigerator was working.  He put a soda on top of the refrigerator and left the rest inside of it.  The one on top of the refrigerator was colder... by far.  So, this was my first phone call to Maintenance.  The guy came out the next day, after we had to throw away about $100 of spoiled food.  He was very nice, replaced the fan, and we were reimbursed for the food we had lost.  I was a happy camper because the refrigerator was much cooler.  I could finally relax with new groceries and the prospect of putting milk in my coffee the next morning.


Well, a few days go by and we notice that there is a puddle in the refrigerator.  Did the kids push the water button and not clean it up?  Did I spill something? That was definitely a possibility. I'm pretty clumsy.  I cleaned it up and walked away.  Later that night, there was the puddle... but frozen.  I was not a happy girl.  And so, Maintenance came to our house at 1030 at night to replace the hose from the freezer to the refrigerator.  It was over.  The refrigerator was now fixed.  Or so we thought.

Another few days later, the same problem was happening but worse.  I'd had it.  Maintenance was called.  The Housing Agent we work with was called and she, to her credit, made someone come out right away.  While she is amazing, it took Maintenance until just this morning to replace our refrigerator with its, hopefully nicer, twin.

As the refrigerator was being pulled out of the house, it had decided that ruining three rounds of groceries and taunting me daily was not enough.  Instead of going quietly into that great night... we got this instead.

Yes, we got one last "Eff- You!" from the refrigerator that could have frozen over Hell itself (that trail of water went all the way from the kitchen to the end of the driveway).  Goodness knows I thought I was in Hell for the last few weeks with what it was doing.  And, I admit, I'd told the refrigerator to go to Hell many times.

So, this is my public promise to my new refrigerator:

I promise you, refrigerator, to not leave you open accidentally or on purpose.  I solemnly vow to never slam you shut.  However, if you should act like your twin, you will meet his same sticky end.

For now, my tiny shred of sanity is in tact once again... and tonight, I will have sweet dreams of moles and mice tearing that other refrigerator apart shelf by shelf.  I did say tiny shred of sanity.