Mr. Squirrel, You Are Quite Nuts

As you may have read on my previous couple of blog posts, we have quite the squirrel at our house.  He's not our nemisis, like the squirrel at my brother-in-law's house is to him.  He won't be our pet either... despite my trying my best to bribe him to come hang out with me.  I'm sure my husband is grateful to the squirrel for keeping his distance, since I'm already angling for a pygmy hippo.  Instead, he is something quite different.

Our squirrel, aka Mr. Squirrel, is a ninja gargoyle squirrel.  I have proof!

We came home from IKEA (the land of no screws) to find Mr. Squirrel like this:

We were able to get out of the car and walk almost all the way up to the house without him budging a bit.  It seemed, to me, that he was imitating one of those gargoyles you see on the side of old churches with amazing architecture... like Notre Dame.  I wondered just how far he would take this game of pretend.  So, I tried to touch him.  This brought out his amazing ninja skills.  Sorry- skills with a "z" would be better, so, skillz.  He jumped to the side of the house and tried to hide.

Mr. Squirrel learned very quickly that I have ninja skills, too.  I'm very good at spotting squirrels who think they are stealthy... when in all actuality, they are not.  Within a few seconds, Mr. Squirrel scaled the walls of the house and jumped, landing on the overhang on top of my bedroom window*.  Then he watched us vigilantly to make sure we went away.

He was very good at the scaling of the walls and the jumping, but not so much on the hiding.  Once again, he gave himself away by being nosy. He just had to see what we were doing.  Perhaps, he likes IKEA too and wanted to see what we had bought.  Quite possibly, he was deciding that running from me was not as good of an option as becoming my pet. Well, probably not... but wouldn't that be wonderfully awesome?  My husband would roll his eyes and say, "NO!"... but we all know it would be.

I really think he was cussing us out because we were standing in the way of him getting to our garbage... or to some nuts that the neighbor girls were feeding him earlier.  I told him to lay off eating so many nuts, because you are what you eat... and he's quite nuts enough.


*From now on, I will be leaving that window open, with the hopes that Mr. Squirrel will want to take a nap... in our room... so I can keep him... and come up with a better name for him.